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This (and another she has up) is the most brilliant auction I have ever seen. This chick is my new hero! I bow down to the altar of her tounge in cheek genius! And look at the closing price! Holy shit! What I would do to be the one who came up with this! Maybe I do a variation on the theme........... </P><P>eBay item </P><P>2916669204</P><P>(Ends </P><P>Mar-16-03 17:33:47 PST</P><P>) - </P><P>Instant Girlfriend Kit! pule
 | Instant Girlfriend Kit! pule |
Item # 2916669204 |
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If you are the seller or a high bidder - now what?
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| Current bid | US $44.00 � | | Starting bid | US $1.50 | Quantity | 1 | | # of bids | 38 �
Bid history | Time left |
Auction has ended.
| | Location | Imaginary Friends | | | | Country | United States | Started | Mar-09-03 17:33:47 PST | | 
�Mail this auction to a friend
| Ends | Mar-16-03 17:33:47 PST | | ![[Gift Alert]](http://pics.ebay.com/aw/pics/gift-icon.gif)
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| | | | | | Seller (rating) |
| | | | | | High bidder | bobbyballard(45) | | | | | | Payment | PayPal, or money order/cashiers check.
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| | | | | Shipping | Buyer pays for all shipping costs, which are provided in the Payment Details section below. Will ship to United States and the following regions:
Canada.
| | | | | | Item Revised | To review revisions made to this item by the seller,
click here . | | | | | | Seller
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 | Is this you? Nerdy? Creepy? Alone? Don't have a girlfriend? Do your other imaginary friends mock you incessantly for your total lack of female companionship, love, acceptance, or even casual human contact? What if there were a simple kit that would silence the piercing voices and echoed braying laughter of your detractors once and for all? � |
Well until there is, you can �fend off their scathing retributions with this: Imaginary Friends - Instant Girlfriend�! |  |
|  | JOY! |
Kit includes:
Love Note (with bonus Lipstick Kissy�) and Photo Gaze dreamily at her bubbly, girly handwriting. She loves you and has the opposable thumbs needed to scribble this sentiment on dead tree pulp just for you. Drink in her slightly blurry picture. Memorize her eye color to avoid THAT fight. (Genuine love not included. Do not attempt to make out with photo.) |  |
 | Lipstick Impress your other imaginary friends with a strategically placed, carefully applied smear of lipstick. You can almost hear them now... "What's he been up to?" "I wish I were� genuinely loved and accepted by a good real-life girlfriend." "Your neighbor is poisoning your infrared mind beams. Eat his liver." |
Genuine Dainty Female Undergarment No, that's not a hat. It's a pair of women's thong panties. OK...look...I'll explain when you're older. |  |
 | Slip them furtively between your couch cushions under cover of darkness. Anyone who sees these will have to surmise that a woman has been in your apartment and has removed her panties uncoerced and of her own free will. Maybe because she wanted to have sex. With you. |
Look, pal, what you do in your own home is up to you, but we don't need to know about it... |  |
 | Genuine Feminine Hygiene Thingies What are they for? Who knows? But they're now sitting in plain view in your bathroom, further evidence that a female person is not only willing to share her personal space with you, but is willing to do so through the period of darkness our ancestors primitively called "night." |
Bid now and bid high for Imaginary Friends - Instant Girlfriend� - 1 Love Note (with bonus Lipstick Kissy�)
- 1 Photo (she's cute, too)
- 1 Lipstick (slutty color)
- 1 Genuine Dainty Female Undergarment (clean and unused,
you pervs) - 2 Genuine Feminine Hygiene Thingies (intended function
unknown) - 1 FREE BONUS Organic Shampoo-scented Candle - Burn
this and feel the cool, refreshing scent of a freshly finished shower assault your nostrils (keep a fire extinguisher handy at all times...ALL times). This unfamiliar odor will let everyone know that someone other than you has definitely been naked in your apartment.
� Imaginary Friends make no guarantees whatsoever. Imaginary Friends are not responsible in any way for you believing in any of this. Imaginary Friends don't like you or your parents. PayPal (usually faster) and Postal Money Orders accepted.
On Mar-14-03 at 21:11:15 PST, seller added the following information:This is a REAL Auction! The Buyer will be expected to pay their Bid after the close of the auction. It is not a Joke, but an actual ADVERTISMENT for our product! (IT just happens to be REALLY REALLY REALLY Funny!) Don't forget to check out our other Auction (Instant INTERNET Girlfriend).... http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2917617532&category=1469 and in 4 days...INSTANT PET!!! And feel Free to Email us! We love the Attention!
On Mar-15-03 at 01:37:27 PST, seller added the following information:Instant Internet Girlfriend (Online Interactive Mini Kit) There is a Link to the New Auction (For all of you who can't grasp "Copy and Paste")
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2003-03-17
2:40 p.m.
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abwhite
